Relationship Tips and Advice for Men Who Have Been Cheated On and Have Trust Issues

Rebuilding trust after you’ve been cheated on can be one of the hardest things you have to do. Here’s a question from a reader who’s in that situation and my answer…

***QUESTION FROM A READER:

“What is the average length of time it takes for someone to overcome trust issues once it’s been broken? Is there any information on length of time to recover? I see there are several ideas and ways to overcome trust. But I really want to move forward and would like to know how long this process takes or if it’s ever something one can do again once trust has been broken.”

>>>MY COMMENTS:

As I corresponded with him to ask for his permission to use his question here, he told me some of his story–which may not be unlike yours. He had had a string of girlfriends who either turned out to be married or stole money from him. In other words, they lied to him big time.

After awhile, if you’ve had these kinds of experiences, you probably are going to stop to wonder what’s going on. He told me that his friends didn’t have these kinds of problems–and we’re guessing that he asked himself over and over…”Why me?” “Will I ever be able to trust someone again– or even should I?” and “What’s wrong with me that I get with women who lie and cheat on me and my friends don’t?”

While we can’t say for sure why this man attracts these kinds of partners, we can say that before he gets in another relationship, it’s time for him to turn his attention inward. The person he has to learn to trust is himself.

He has to learn to allow himself to see and pay attention to the red flags that are usually always there flying that many of us choose to ignore in the excitement of a new romance. He can ask himself what he’s learned from these past romances that ended badly for him.

What kind of traits did these women have that could have clued him into their true nature? In hindsight, what actions did he see that could have warned him enough to ask some questions and listen carefully to answers.

Just as financial wizard Suze Orman says about money–”Ignorance is not bliss where money is concerned–we say the same thing about rebuilding trust…

Ignorance isn’t bliss where trust and relationships are concerned either.

Whether you’re learning to trust someone new or trying to learn how to trust someone again when trust has been betrayed, pay attention to the red flags. Become the observer and pay attention to how the other person’s words and actions feel inside you. Feel if they ring true to you. If they don’t, ask a question that will reveal their deeper intention.

A question from our “Magic Relationship Words” program like “Tell me more about that…” can open you both up to deeper communication and trust. It may also help you bypass the pain of betrayal–if you’re conscious and paying attention to the answers that come after that question.

Learning how to trust after it’s been broken is not really a time issue. It’s becoming conscious in your life– knowing what you want and then opening to it.

Oh, and one more thing…

If you want to tap into my latest insights and advice for men to help you light up your woman, be sure and sign up for my “Light Her Up” newsletter in the form below…

Subscribe now and enjoy FREE: