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	<title>Light Her Up &#187; Communication Tips</title>
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		<title>How to Deal With A Sharp-Tongued Woman</title>
		<link>http://www.lightherup.com/sharp-tongued-woman-7/</link>
		<comments>http://www.lightherup.com/sharp-tongued-woman-7/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 26 May 2010 18:26:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Otto</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Communication Tips]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Women can be a lot of things.

They can be beautiful. Kind. Loving. Sexual. Caring. Erotic. Perfect.

AND then...

There are other times when you wonder what in the world just happened.]]></description>
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</p><p>Women can be a lot of things. They can be beautiful, kind, loving, sexual, caring, erotic, perfect AND then&#8230;There are other times when you wonder what in the world just happened. Everything seems to be going along just fine and one small thing happens and BAM.</p>
<p>Her temper blows up and she turns into the meanest, most unkind bitch you could ever imagine and the worst part is&#8211;you don&#8217;t even know why.</p>
<p>If you&#8217;re a man who&#8217;s ever been with a woman when this has happened, you know what I&#8217;m talking about. When a woman&#8217;s rage explodes on you, you know that you&#8217;re no match for the &#8220;weaker sex&#8221; when she&#8217;s like this. You just want to find a place to escape and hide.</p>
<p>But you can&#8217;t because she&#8217;s your woman and if you make the wrong decision about how to deal with her in a moment or situation like this you know it could make matters worse. Much worse. You just hope that somehow this STORM blows over quickly and you can get back to &#8220;normal.&#8221;</p>
<p>So, what do you do?</p>
<p>How do you deal with a woman who&#8217;s lost her temper, is acting crazy, saying things that aren&#8217;t true or twisting your words around all over the place?</p>
<p>Like the situation THIS guy below just wrote in to me is faced with in his relationship with his woman&#8230;</p>
<p>Question from a reader&gt;&gt;&gt;</p>
<p>&#8220;Hey Otto&#8211;</p>
<p>I just love this new newsletter you&#8217;re doing for us men. I don&#8217;t always know what to do to make my woman happy and you seem to make a lot of sense with what you say about these kind of things. I&#8217;m hoping you can answer a question for me.</p>
<p>I love my wife but my wife has a temper. Not only that but she&#8217;s got a really sharp tongue too. How should I react when she&#8217;s like this and what can I do to prevent it?&#8221; Name Withheld.</p>
<p>My Response&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p>
<p>So, you&#8217;re married to &#8220;Miss Firestorm, eh?&#8221; Outstanding.</p>
<p>I say this is &#8220;outstanding&#8221; because being with &#8220;Miss Firestorm&#8221; with a &#8220;sharp tongue&#8221; can be both good and bad. Believe me, I&#8217;ve lived through this and to be honest, I still find myself in situations like this but nowhere near as much or as often as I used to.</p>
<p>Being with a woman like this can be a gold mine for a man because when a woman is like this, it shows that above all else, she cares. It may not always come off like she cares. But she does. That&#8217;s why the &#8220;sharp tongue.&#8221;</p>
<p>Being with a woman who has a &#8220;sharp tongue&#8221; can also be bad because (to say this gently)&#8230;it doesn&#8217;t feel good to be talked to this way.</p>
<p>In spite of this fact, some women do have an incredibly sharp tongue and if you love her and want to stay with her&#8211; YOU are going to have to be the one to change if you want things to get better. But you&#8217;re not going to have to change in the ways that you might think.</p>
<p>As painful as it is for me to say this, I&#8217;m going to say it anyway&#8230;If your woman has a &#8220;sharp tongue&#8221; and it&#8217;s something that you&#8217;ve noticed more than once or twice and has become a regular occurrence, then the problem is YOU and NOT HER.</p>
<p>Please understand that I&#8217;m not saying that she isn&#8217;t doing anything wrong or that her behavior doesn&#8217;t need to change. Nothing like that.<br />
What I am saying is if she&#8217;s had a &#8220;sharp-tongue&#8221; with you more than once or twice and it&#8217;s become a regular thing, happening on a regular basis then without even realizing it, you have trained her that it&#8217;s acceptable for her to talk to you with a &#8220;sharp tongue.&#8221;</p>
<p>And can you guess what the worst part is? She will continue to do it until you make her understand that treating you this way is not acceptable.</p>
<p>So, what do you do?</p>
<p>There are both things you have to do inside you and outside you to get her sharp tongue to calm down. The first thing you have to do is to do what I call &#8220;stop talking on eggshells.&#8221;</p>
<p>Talking on eggshells is where you don&#8217;t say what you think or how you feel in fear of how your woman might react, what she&#8217;ll say or what she&#8217;ll do.</p>
<p>The best advice I can give you on how to <a href="http://www.stoptalkingoneggshells.com">stop talking on eggshells</a> with your woman is this&#8230;Go within yourself&#8230; find your center&#8230; get clear about what you want (and don&#8217;t want)&#8230;face your fears about what it would mean if you &#8220;spoke your truth&#8221; and said what you wanted in your relationships and life without holding back or biting YOUR tongue.</p>
<p>You have to let your woman know in a clear but direct and loving way that you&#8217;re not going to put up with a &#8220;sharp tongue&#8221; from her or anyone. You have to make it clear about what ways are acceptable to talk to you and what ways aren&#8217;t.</p>
<p>If your fear is that it will only make her upset or angry if you say what&#8217;s real or truthful for you, then guess what? She&#8217;s already not treating you with kindness and respect.</p>
<p>Don&#8217;t put up with it. Be firm. Be direct AND loving. But don&#8217;t let her or anyone treat you with disrespect.</p>
<p>For any man who&#8217;s reading this, there&#8217;s one more thing I feel like I must mention here&#8230;There&#8217;s actually a slim possibility that something happened along the way in your relationship that made her turn into a not-so-nice person and not be willing to shift or change no matter how much you love her.</p>
<p>This is a very small possibility AND there might be something else going on with your woman to cause her to want to treat you this way.</p>
<p>As crazy as it might sound, there is a strong possibility that your woman may be using her &#8220;sharp tongue&#8221; because that&#8217;s the best weapon she feels that she has to get your attention&#8211; to shift, change and drop more into being the man she sees in you that maybe you don&#8217;t see in yourself.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m not saying that this is the situation for sure but I&#8217;ve know many women who were so exasperated and angry that their men weren&#8217;t being ALL they could be that they were willing to try ANYTHING to get their man to find his true masculine essence. They were willing to do anything to push him to become more than he was showing in the moments of each day.</p>
<p>I invite you to do what I do when conflict, challenges and problems come up&#8230;I ask myself &#8212; How have I contributed to or helped create this problem or situation?</p>
<p>I have found that when you are open to the answers that come when you ask yourself a question like that, the answer you get may not be one you find pleasant or one you expected.</p>
<p>But when you ask powerful questions, the answers you get back will almost always be profound and can take your relationship to a deeper level.</p>
<p>Oh, and one more thing&#8230;</p>
<p>If you want to tap into my latest insights and advice for men to help you light up your woman, be sure and sign up for my &#8220;Light Her Up&#8221; newsletter in the form below&#8230;</p>
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		<title>3 Amazing Communication Secrets That Will Light Up Your  Woman</title>
		<link>http://www.lightherup.com/3-amazing-communication-secrets-4/</link>
		<comments>http://www.lightherup.com/3-amazing-communication-secrets-4/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 26 May 2010 15:55:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Otto</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Communication Tips]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://vfwh.net/light/?p=4</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
If you want to know how to light up your woman, one of the most important things you&#8217;re going to need to know how to do is how to be a much better communicator. There&#8217;s no skill more important in your relationship with your woman than knowing how to communicate and connect with her.
The plain [...]]]></description>
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</p><p>If you want to know how to light up your woman, one of the most important things you&#8217;re going to need to know how to do is how to be a much better communicator. There&#8217;s no skill more important in your relationship with your woman than knowing how to communicate and connect with her.</p>
<p>The plain truth is almost every man I know is just plain terrible at communication. They do everything wrong AND without even knowing it, most men (maybe even you) are so bad at communication that you are doing things to make your relationship worse and it doesn&#8217;t have to be that way.</p>
<p>To get you started with some communication ideas that will really help you, I want to give you 3 communication secrets for communicating with your woman. While these aren&#8217;t the only things you&#8217;ll need to know to be able to improve communication with her, you&#8217;ll be amazed at how things will begin to shift and change for the better if you try them.</p>
<h3>Communication Idea # 1</h3>
<p>Learn How To Listen&#8211;Truly Listen To Your Woman</p>
<p>Listening is both an art and a science that you or any man can master.<br />
Most men want to know some &#8220;trick&#8221; to make communicating with their woman easier and believe me when I say that this is one of them. Listening, when it&#8217;s done right will do more to &#8220;open&#8221; your woman instead of close her down than almost anything else you&#8217;ll ever try.</p>
<p>Contrary to what most men think&#8211;listening to your woman does NOT mean listening with the intention to fix, change or manipulate her to get her to do what you want. Even though you may not realize it, this is often how we men listen by &#8220;default.&#8221;</p>
<p>Listening (when it&#8217;s done right) is done from the place of wanting to connect deeper with your woman and just listen to her. Listening is not listening to fix. Listening is just &#8220;listening&#8221; with no agenda.</p>
<h3>Communication Idea #2</h3>
<p>Learn To Be Honest With Your Woman and Communicate With Honesty</p>
<p>Many men I talk to in my relationship breakthrough coaching work tell their woman what they think they want to hear or only tell them things they&#8217;ll be happy about. If there&#8217;s anything they think their woman may have a negative reaction about&#8211;they hold back and don&#8217;t tell them.</p>
<p>The operative word is &#8220;think&#8221; here. They assume what she&#8217;s thinking and talk about a bad pit to fall into! Don&#8217;t let this be you. Learn how to tap into your inner being and learn how to share what&#8217;s real and true for you without assuming to know what she&#8217;s thinking and WANTS to hear.</p>
<p>One of the first steps to learning how to be &#8220;honest&#8221; with your woman is to learn how to be honest with yourself. The problem is&#8230; we men do everything else except be straight with ourselves. We tell ourselves things like&#8230;&#8221;It&#8217;s Ok&#8230;.It won&#8217;t matter whether I tell her this little thing that happened to me today at work.&#8221;</p>
<p>Then we wonder why she&#8217;s distant when she can obviously tell something&#8217;s WRONG and you say &#8220;I&#8217;m fine&#8221; when she asks you&#8230; &#8220;What&#8217;s wrong?&#8221;</p>
<h3>Communication Idea #3</h3>
<p>Allow yourself to be vulnerable with your woman.</p>
<p>Most men (me, you and every other man) have been taught don&#8217;t show weakness. Don&#8217;t let them see you at your worst..Don&#8217;t let anyone else ever get the best of you. And on and on&#8230;</p>
<p>The problem is if you don&#8217;t allow yourself to be vulnerable with your woman, then by default, you&#8217;re keeping her at arm&#8217;s length and not letting her see all of you.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s great to show that masculine tough side. She loves that side of you but let her see that vulnerable side of you too. Communication is about connection and connecting at the heart. You can&#8217;t communicate very well with your woman (or anyone) if you don&#8217;t allow yourself to be vulnerable with them.</p>
<p>Oh, and one more thing&#8230;</p>
<p>If you want to tap into my latest insights and advice for men to help you light up your woman, be sure and sign up for my &#8220;Light Her Up&#8221; newsletter in the form below&#8230;</p>
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