Are you guilty of this relationship mistake too?

We had a big storm hit the area where we live yesterday and two guys got killed when the roof, walls and foundation “collapsed” on a building they were working in.

This was tragic and what’s just as tragic is when we men do something very similar in our relationships…What I’m talking about is when we men “collapse.” This is one of the things that we men do that our women just can’t stand.

In fact, this is one of the things that your woman will get the most angry with you about and the weird thing is you’re probably hearing this for the first time here.

The truth is I’m guilty of “collapsing” from time to time and I’m willing to bet that you are as well.

Here’s how this goes…

Sometimes life is a storm and not easy to deal with. Sometimes your woman is like a storm (maybe even a firestorm of emotions). Sometimes both life and your woman are like dealing with a storm (and everything that goes with it) at the same time.

The question is–when either or both of these things happen, what will you do?

Will you stand in your center and allow the storms of life and/or your woman to pass through or will you “collapse” and let these storms kill you?

One quick way you can tell is to look at your personal history. How have you dealt with tragedy, loss, pain and setbacks? How have you dealt with things when they didn’t work out the way you would have liked?

How have you dealt with things in those moments when life seemed so dark you didn’t know where to turn or what to do?

There have been plenty of those times in my past when I felt lost, alone, didn’t know what to do about the things I was facing in my life and I did what many men do–I would shut down. I would shut physically, personally and emotionally.

Every man reacts and responds differently to life challenges but in those situations (which could last for a while), I used to become almost “vacant” for days at a time.

Fortunately, I don’t respond to what life throws at me that way anymore. I’m not always perfect but now I have very different ways in which I respond and react that work much better for me now and the results are nothing short of amazing.

Here’s what I do now and what I recommend you do in difficult moments in your relationship with your woman and life…

First of all–don’t be like the building I mentioned earlier that “collapsed” and killed those two men. No matter what happens in your life, you have to remain solid, stay in your center and continue to love (even in difficult moments).

Whenever you catch yourself saying or thinking things like…

–I’ll never be able to

–What’s the use?

–She’ll never

–This sucks Or any number of other things we typically say when things get tough

The main thing is to NOT give in, give up or collapse in the face of challenge. Your woman wants desperately to to be able to feel like she can count on you NO MATTER WHAT.

If you “collapse” when a difficult moment hits, that tells her you’re not totally trustable and can’t totally be counted on.

I realize this isn’t the whole story when relationship challenges come up but my experience tells me that when you “collapse,” this is one of the times when she gets bossy, bitchy, demanding and controlling.

When you are tempted to blame, start finger-pointing, judging her unfairly or harshly, ask yourself my favorite question…

“Will treating her (or acting in) this way move you closer to or further from what you want with her?”

My guess is in most cases, further from.

One final thing…I’ve seen many men (and I’ve been guilty of this myself) clam up, shut down and not say anything when you really have something you feel like you need to say.

Shutting down like this is a recipe for relationship disaster and it never “makes things OK.” Shutting down and not speaking your truth and NOT saying what’s on your mind will always create resentment, a feeling of hollowness and distance and separation.

Not good.

My wife Susie and I call this “talking On eggshells” and if this is something you do, we recommend you download our “Stop Talking On Eggshells” program right now from our website at http://www.StopTalkingOnEggshells.com

This program will show you the best ways to stop talking on eggshells and how to start speaking, communicating and living in a more honest and authentic way.

Remember, if you want to light up your woman and get the love and sex you really want from her…”collapsing” is not an option. Stay strong, powerful, centered and focused while at the same time continuing to love as you keep your heart open.

Oh, and one more thing…

If you want to tap into my latest insights and advice for men to help you light up your woman, be sure and sign up for my “Light Her Up” newsletter in the form below…

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